


Can You Feel My HeartBeat?

by HisagiJ69



Category: Pandora Hearts
Genre: F/M, Married Couple, Morning Cuddles, One Shot, Pregnancy, Years Later
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-27
Updated: 2015-04-27
Packaged: 2018-03-26 02:51:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3834247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HisagiJ69/pseuds/HisagiJ69
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ada saved him, Ada made him grow, made him change. But deep inside Vincent's heart, fear still exists. (One-Shot)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Can You Feel My HeartBeat?

**Author's Note:**

> Sooooo... I found this short fic I wrote before reading the ending of PH (poor, innocent me, still believeing in a happy ending....). Well, I will still ship this forever :')

The morning was young and the blue sky out of the window sparkled in rath joy, the sun’s rays tearing the air apart and forcing their way over the trees, leafs, grass, benches, people, and so they also shinned through the window’s clean glass of the Vessalius Mansion, into the silent and warm room of the Dukedom’s head.

The bed was big, and over it, snuggled somewhere between the messy blankets and each other’s bare and soft limbs, Ada and Vincent wore both a smile on their faces, grateful for the nice weather, the cheerful morning light, the heart-warming laziness of a moment for themselves, devoted to simple minded and kind words and thoughts and feelings.

But there was something else filling their minds than the nice Spring weather. Their smiles were something else today, a clear and beautiful extension of their love, a dreaming grin full of kindliness and hope. And their eyes, this one time, at this one moment, weren’t regarding each other in endless waves of still not fully perceived passion, but were instead staring towards Ada’s flat stomach, under a thin layer of cloth her summer nightdress was made of, over which she rested a delicate hand.

“Hum… He will be a boy…” Ada mumbled in a low yet steady voice.

Vincent couldn’t help but to breathe through his nose in contained amusement, due to her conviction. “Yes? And what makes you so sure?”

“Well… I don’t really know…” Ada added, a soft shade of pink tinting her cheeks. “I believe they call it intuition, right? Yes, it is intuition. I just feel he will be a little boy. Besides, I read my own tarot the other day.”

“Oh, you did. Why doesn’t that surprise me?” Vincent asked, softly. In the beginning, he wouldn’t stand Ada and her weird hobbies, but it came out as something natural after some time. Who would imagine, Vincent asked himself, that they would ever be close enough so that chatting would be so easy between them? He asked so as he felt Ada’s light weight nestled in his arms, so fragile and beautiful and yet strong and certain.

“Yes I did!” She went on, getting suddenly excited. “And I got The Magician. It doesn’t mean a lot in that point now, but I searched and I found the meaning of “manliness” somewhere in those lines! I didn’t get it at the time, but I do believe it now!” After a moment of silence, she looked up at her husband, eyes big and green and beautiful and with a slight fright in them. “Would you prefer him to be a little girl, Vincent?”

“Me?” Vincent asked, genuinely surprised. The woman had come up four days ago with the pregnancy announcement and the shock had painted Vincent pale before he could come up with something. It was a weird, abstract idea for him, and even though he ended up glad and even wishing, some of the initial shock still bounded him. “I… I don’t really know… I haven’t thought about it.”

“You did not?” Ada asked, in a lower tone that could hide either offense or delusion or even shyness. Over all a disguised concern, Vincent realized when she took his hand in her, absently caressing his long fingers, and spoke up. “What is it that worries you, Vincent?”

It shouldn’t have surprised him. Ada was always like that: able to understand Vincent better than he did himself, making him realize all the things about himself he kept his life missing. It had been like that since they met, since Ada made him fall for her, since she forgave and saved him. And so now, her simple question made his heartbeat unsteady, and he realized for the first time the dimension of the matter they were so lightly discussing. Ada, the woman he loved, would have a child and he… “I am afraid.” He admitted, amused at his own ridiculousness.

Ada, as he foresaw, didn’t laugh. She only smiled, tenderly and sweetly, as she always did. “It is no shame to be afraid. It’s okay.”

Vincent sighed, feeling nervous. “I just… don’t know if I am ready. To bring up a child. I don’t know if I’ll ever be.”

“You’re uncertain. I understand.”

“I am frightened. Myself as a father… that’s something I can’t even picture. I never had parents myself, I never knew the love of a parental figure. On the contrary, all kinds of adults I ever trusted brought me only pain.” He unconsciously gripped Ada’s fingers. “My mother sold me, my Master betrayed me. How am I supposed to give something I never had myself?” He brought a hand to his face, smiling at the foolishness of his own image. “I have no right to even think about having a child, I am no good for such thing. After all I’ve done, what kind of father would I be, Ada?”

He opened his mouth to proceed but the words died in his throat when he felt Ada’s warm and soft hand cupping his cheek with kind intention. When he looked down at his wife’s dinky face, all the worries seemed to fade for a second. She was so beautiful. She had always been. Age had not but turned her even prettier, skin smooth and pale, wavy and sleek blond hair framing her figure, still lovably messy from waking up, those merciful eyes smiling at him. “The best one, Vincent.”

Vincent took a second to absorb those words, and then a smile curved his lips as well, a short and pained one, as he cupped Ada’s hand on his own cheek. For some reason the initial light mood they had dwell in during the first hours of morning had been replaced by this dark shade over Vincent’s heart, a shade he knew has guilt and sorrow, a shade he thought he had escaped, but that still lived inside him. “It is nice of you to say that but… I don’t believe it is that easy. And it kills me that I can’t be the perfect father for your child, as you wished for, just as I regret for never having been the perfect husband for you. I know you deserve more than this… More than me Ada, and yet this is all I have to give.” He opened his mouth to continue, but the infinite words he wanted to spill out resumed in three slow ones: “I am sorry.”

Vincent closed his eyes, a sharp pain aching in his chest. He snapped them open right away, feeling his cheek, previously fondled by a gentle hand, now pinched by a nervous one. When he stared at Ada, this one time, he felt surprised. She was actually pouting, her eyes teary and cheeks flustered in a contained anger. The strength with which she kept hold of his cheek told not otherwise. “You idiot.” She severed. “Don’t you dare say that. Ever again.” She demanded, and then, with no warning, buried her face on his bare shoulder, hands finding rest against his chest. “I hate to hear you talk like that, Vincent. So don’t ever do it again.” Her words were begging, she seemed for seconds a little child.

Left speechless and with a marked cheek, the only thing Vincent did was to land a shaky and uncertain hand over his wife’s head, caressing her soft locks in a silent guilt. “I am… sorry, Ada…”

“Don’t do that either! Don’t apologize for saying what you think. Resent to correct your thinking!”

Now Vincent was patting the top of her head, the fragile and demanding figure he knew so well ripping a short and unamused grin from himself. “Easier said than done…”

“That’s is why I am here!” Ada said, standing backwards to look at Vincent face to face. The outside light hit her golden hairs with such intensity that Vincent found himself dazed by the dreamlike figure for a moment. “I am here, do never forget that. Nobody is perfect, Vincent. It is time for you to learn that. You are indeed the perfect husband for me because you are the man I love, more than anything else; you are the man I would give my life for, Vincent, the only one I fully trust with my whole heart. I love you so much…” She sighed, caressing the man’s bare chest with her thumb. “And I know you love me as well. I was entrusted with your heart as well, and I have no intention of letting go of it, ever, Vincent. The fact that we love each other is what makes us perfect for one another. Our flaws, our mistakes, we can live with all that as long as we’re side by side, just like this, close enough to feel each other’s heartbeat. And your troubled past won’t make you a worse father. On the contrary. Because you know what is to be lacking love, you so willingly give it away. And this child, Vincent.” This time she took his shaky hand, with no hesitation, no shame, and landed it over her belly. “You will be the best father in the world. Because this child is yours. Is yours and is the fruit of what we feel for each other. This child will be the luckiest in the world, because you will love him with all your heart, because he will be a part of you and of myself, and we will love him unconditionally and protect him forever without thinking twice. That is the kind of mother I want to be. And that is the kind of father I know you will be. I feel terrified myself! This is a whole new concept and I think I’m not ready too but… I am ready to try! I am ready to try because this is our child, Vincent… Because you will be with me, by my side, holding my hand the whole time. I believe we can do this, we can bring up a marvellous baby and treat him so well because we are willing to love him as we love each other. And I know it is normal for you to be scared, but I don’t want you to. I want you to know that _I am here_. That we will do this together, Vincent, side by side, always, as we promised each other not long ago. I promised you a lot of things and I tend to accomplish it all! I will never leave you, so there’s no reason for you to be scared. We will be alright as long as we stick up to one another. To this beautiful feeling we share.” She took a long break, then added, with a tender smile. “Okay?”

Vicent stood quiet, just staring at the woman in front of him. His woman, he realized. Fully his, like anything else in the world had ever been, like he didn’t wish anything else to be. Ada was his, all of her, her body, her soul, her love. He stared at that angel like figure that stood there in front of him, offering him comfort and shelter and home. Her emerald eyes were all he needed to see to feel well, to feel complete. He realized, buried in deeper thoughts, that he also was hers. He had been all hers since a long time ago. And knowing that so openly made him feel at ease. His hand kept steady over her stomach, Ada herself keeping it there. That little thing growing up inside of her, he realized, that new life she was conceiving, was his as well. For some reason, that thought didn’t seem to scare him anymore.

And in the silent room, he could feel the harmoniously rhythmic strokes that came from the depths of her chest. That beautiful, peaceful and cosy sound that had been there all along, and that seemed loud and clear now, clanking alongside his own, sending shivers up his spine.

His eyes never leaving her face, Vincent’s lips curved into a truthful smile, soft and joyful, loose and easy. Without a word he leaned forward, slowly enough for Ada to realize his intentions and go along, smiling as well, happy. She sunk into her lover’s tight hug with no hesitation, and the man buried his face on those soft and perfumed locks of her hair. He was suddenly feeling brave, as if hearing those words and staring at that pretty smile of hers had been all it took to shake away all fear and dismay. It was like, standing there over the huge bed, alone in that huge room, nothing else could reach them but each other’s scent. It was, Vincent concluded, the best feeling in the world.

“I can feel it.” He mumbled. “Your heartbeat.” His eyes closed and he inhaled again, more on a whim than by lack of air. “And it is so nice….”


End file.
